Loving You From Afar
by Redbutterfly1010
Summary: Barry and Felicity are dating, even though Felicity still holds Oliver close to her heart. After Oliver asks her to sacrifice her relationship with Barry, will Oliver be able to make her see the truth behind his words he said after Russia? Set post 2x06.


**Just a little something that popped into my head last night while I was lying in bed. Episode 2x06 just about killed me with all the Olicity feels and while I am still really pissed at Oliver, part of me also understands why he did what he did. NOTE: If you haven't watched 2x06 yet, don't read this! While this idea is completely my own, it does reveal some things that happened in that episode!**

Felicity clattered down the steps into the lair, humming some ridiculous cheesy love song. To say that things between her and Barry were going well was an understatement. They had only been out on a date twice, but each date had been filled with laughter and excitement. Barry was almost enough to make her heart forget what had happened just a month ago…almost.

Felicity stopped humming when she reached her desk and noticed the intensity at which Oliver was attacking Diggle on the training mats. She knew immediately that something was bothering him, simply by the way he was gritting his teeth and grunting. It was funny to her how well she knew Oliver's mannerisms. Although he had never been very open to her with his words, his eyes sometimes gave him away, and Felicity felt like she knew him better than anyone else in the world. With just one look he spoke to her about his pain and his fears, but that wasn't all. Sometimes she would catch the way the corners of his eyes would crease, or the way his eyebrows arched at one of her ridiculous rambles, and she could read the happiness in his eyes, even if it was just for a passing moment.

She took pride in knowing that she was one of the few people who knew the real Oliver Queen. Not the one that smiled for the cameras, or the one who ran Queen Consolidated, or even the one who dined with his family. She knew the one that carried darkness within him, and even though he couldn't see himself as good, she saw the light in his eyes growing every day.

Of course, she stopped looking into those eyes a month ago, when all she had seen in them was his desire to keep her at arm's length.

"_Because of the life that I lead, I just think it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about."_

Felicity pushed away the pain that was welling up in her chest. While things with Barry had been great, perfect even, Oliver had a hold on her heart that she couldn't seem to shake. Even though she knew he would never feel for her the way she did for him, she couldn't help but long for the day that he would see her as more than a member of the team.

Felicity took a deep breath and prepared herself as Oliver and Diggle approached her, Oliver's eyes locked on hers in a way she could only describe as possessiveness.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" She asked lightly, trying to ease the tension in the room.

"You need to break up with Barry." Oliver said. Felicity's mouth dropped open at his words. She stared at him, trying to find the humor or the joke, but there was none. He was serious.

"Why on earth would I need to do that?" She asked, her voice a little louder than she had expected. Diggle stepped back slightly, giving the two the space they needed.

"It's just too much of a coincidence Felicity. The way he came here when Queen Consolidated got robbed and how quickly he took to you, I just don't think he can be trusted. He has to have ulterior motives."

Felicity rose from her chair and stepped into Oliver's space. If she had worn higher heels they would be nose to nose.

"So what are you saying exactly? That he is some sort of spy or something?"

"I'm saying we should handle him as an enemy until we know for sure what he's doing here." Felicity lost it then, not able to restrain her feelings or her words any more.

"Well if he's our enemy then I should just sleep with him like you did with Isabel right? Keep our enemies close?" She almost spat the words in his face. She watched as Diggle's face changed from stoic to concerned. It was clear he was unaware of what had happened in Russia.

"Felicity, Barry is only using you."

Felicity stumbled backwards at his words like he had slapped her. Her eyes began to fill with tears, but she blinked them away before they could deceive her. She was not going to give Oliver the satisfaction of hurting her. Again.

"You know Oliver, I know I'm not the most desirable woman in the world. I'm quite aware of that fact actually. All I am is computers, brains and rambles. But just because someone like you wouldn't ever want someone like me, doesn't mean that Barry wouldn't. In fact, he's nothing like you. He's open and kind and caring. He's taken the time to get to know me, something that you have never done. Of course why would you? The only thing I'm good enough for is tech support and coffee right?" Felicity was shaking by this point and to her surprise, Oliver's face had lost its intensity. He reached out for her, but she turned from him before he could grasp onto her arm.

"Felicity..." But she wasn't going to let him have the last word. Snatching her belongings off the table, Felicity darted out of the lair before Oliver or Diggle could stop her. It wasn't until she was at home drowning herself in wine that she let the tears she had been fighting back fall freely.

Oliver stood across from Felicity's apartment building, watching her through her bedroom window. Diggle had ripped him a new one when Felicity had stormed out, scolding him for not only sleeping with Isabel, but for also treating Felicity like he had. While both Oliver and Diggle had their suspicions about Barry Allen, he had never meant for those suspicions to come out like they had. He had watched a month ago as Felicity's heart had broken right in front of him and tonight he realized he had done it again.

Oliver had hoped that Felicity wouldn't be affected by his words tonight. He had hoped that when he showed up, she would be laughing at some ridiculous TV show or gossiping on the phone with a girlfriend. Instead, his heart sunk when he saw her surrounded by tissues on her bed, milking the largest glass of wine he had ever seen. He questioned why she even bothered to pour it into a glass.

Taking a deep breath, Oliver crossed to her fire escape and gently knocked on the window. Felicity raised her red rimmed eyes to his and slowly pushed herself off her bed to let him in.

"What are you doing here Oliver?" There was no anger or bitterness in her eyes, only sadness. He kicked himself for what he had done to her yet again. How many times was she going to allow him to break her like this?

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was out of line with what I said." Felicity turned away from him, slightly stumbling as she crawled back onto her bed. "I just don't want you to get hurt and I guess because of the way I handled things, you ended up getting hurt anyways. I'm sorry."

Felicity took another long swig of wine. "Barry and I broke up."

"Felicity…" The guilt inside of him was crushing him. He tried to find the words, but all he saw was the brokenness he created.

"It's…it's ok Oliver. He was going to be leaving soon anyway. We both agreed we would be better as friends." Felicity twisted the tissue that lay in her hands. She tossed it into the pile with the others. "I was kidding myself anyway. You were probably right."

Oliver stared at the blonde before him. She was unlike any other woman he had met. Unlike Laurel or even Isabel, she was completely unaware of her beauty. Even more so, she was completely unaware of her effect on him. The way her hand would brush across his shoulder as she leaned over him to reach something or the smell of her shampoo as she would twirl in her chair, her hair flowing freely. It was these little things that he had kept tucked away inside his heart, holding them close to himself, hoping to one day be good enough to be worthy of them.

"I need to tell you something," Oliver said as he sat down beside Felicity on her bed. He reached over and grasped her hand. He stared down at how his large hand enveloped hers, and yet he could feel the strength from inside her pouring into him, warmth from her swirling into his cold, blocked off heart. How could something that small be so strong?

"You are more than just computers, brains and rambles." Felicity snickered slightly, but Oliver just squeezed her hand. He wanted more than anything for her to hear this. "Yes, you are smart, but you are also beautiful, and thoughtful, and selfless. And even though I have repeatedly lied to you and kept you in the dark, you always manage to find it in your heart to forgive me." Oliver reached up and brushed an errant tear off her cheek, indulging in the softness of her skin. It almost felt wrong, to have his rough and calloused hands on her perfect skin, but something about it also felt so right.

"You are someone that I really care about." He whispered to her, praying that she would make the connection to the words he had said a month ago. Her eyes found his, wide and questioning. He tried to continue his confession, but the words had stuck in his throat. He wanted her to understand, no, he needed her too. She was who he wanted, more than anything, and even if he wasn't ready now, he wanted her to know how he felt.

His eyes pleaded with her, revealing the confession that he held inside. The words he couldn't say hung in the air between them, and he watched intently as her face softened. He closed his eyes as she raised her hand and cupped his face.

"Okay," she whispered, and that was all that needed to be said. Even though he hadn't truly told her anything, she had understood. He wanted to launch himself at her right then and wrap himself in her light, but he knew all his darkness would drown out her light, and he couldn't do that to her. She was the one unmarred thing in his life and he had every intention of keeping it that way, even if it meant loving her from afar.


End file.
